Happy holidays everybody!!!

Before I forget, A couple of weeks ago I wrote a very lengthy blog on a TV show called "Friday Night Lights" and why you should watch it. I still stand by my claim and think it's the best show on TV. Now I know some of you out there maybe busy with work and family and I understand that. ButI still urge you to check out that show. The other day I was perusing through the world wide web and I found this great site that lets you watch your favorite TV shows for free. It's a great site that lets you watch the current or previous seasons of your favorite TV shows. The website is casttv.com. It's a safe site but I still encourage you to put up your "pop up" blockers just in case. Alright that was my gift to y'all....

With the holidays coming soon, I am stuck. Not on what to get people for gifts. Oh no, that would be a very typical dilemma. No this time the problem lies in what I want for Christmas. See, I am a very uncomplicated person. Rather than have my wife guess what I want for a present, I usually tell her what I want. This goes both ways. I hate to guess and worry if I got my wife a gift she would enjoy. I pretty much ask her to tell me and that takes care of that. Very simple, everyone gets what they wanted and end of the story. So this year, for the life of me, I really do not know what I want. I really took some time to think about this one day and really, I just drew a big old blank. Just me staring at the wall, blinking on occassion to just moisturize my eyeballs. I even started to freewrite and see what gifts would come up. The result: nothing! Nada! Zippo!

The thing with me and Christmas gifts is this: Why should I receive something from someone else when I can go purchase it myself. When I was a child, I would write a lengthy list of the itmes I wanted, either sent it to Santa or gave to my parents, wait until Christmas day and voila!
I got my gift. The only reason why I did that was because I had no money. Now I am in my mid 30's, greying at my temples, have a career, a family and a mortage. If I wanted to get something, I would just go out and purchase it. Need a new laptop? Check, I'll got to BJ's and get one. Need the latest video game? Done, just ordered it on Amazon. Need a new book on acupuncture? Did it already on Amazon. Yes, yes I know the whole argument about me being surprised and all but really if you think about it, is it really that good to be surprised? I equate being surprised to be being frightened and shocked and those words usually go with Halloween and not on our Christ savior's birthday.

So this is the quandary I am at now. I really do not know what I need. I feel like I have everything I wanted and don't need another material possesion to make me feel good about myself. I explained this to my wife and she just gave me a stare of "You have got to be kidding me!!! You can't think of one thing?!" kind of look. Now when she gives me that stare, I, too, take a step away from myself and look at the predictament I am in and just shake my head in disbelief and utter disappointment. Sad, sad, sad....

Now for a patient story. This patient will always remain in my memories because it really is one of those "WTF?!" moments. For those who do not know what "WTF?!" means, it's "What the F#@$^%?!" Still having trouble with the "F" part? Ok then...It's a four letter profanity word that begins with the letter "F" and rhymes with "firetruck". Got it? Good. On we go...

It was during my intern years at acupuncture school and it was around Christmas time. Myself and another intern, who happened to be a good friend of mine, were called to see a patient. We walk into the room and see two lovely ladies with tattoos on their arms. When I mean "lovely", I mean they were gorgeous except for the whole tattoo part because that is not my thing. Anyway, they greeted us and my friend and I just stared at each other, thinking "This is gonna be a good day!" We start doing the intake and it turns out that one of them had some minor abdominal pain. Nothing too serious, no big deal. My friend leaves the room to get out supervisor (We were both at the level 2 internship), leaving me alone in the room.

Our fearless supervisor comes in, takes a look at the chart and talks with the patients. I do not remember what they were talking about because I was too busy staring at these lovely ladies (hey I am a guy full of testosterone!) He asks one of the ladies to lie on the bed and begins to needles them. When the first needle was inserted, the patient let out a big loud moan. The kind of moan you associate when two people are engaged in....how you say....sexual engagement. I thought that was strange and thought nothing of it. The second needle was inserted and there was that moan again except it was louder than the first one. Huh? Was it that painful or pleasurable? The third one was inserted and, you guessed it! The moan but now nearing the decibels similar to a jumbo jet flying over your roof. I immediately looked at my friend and he looks at me and we had this telekinetic thing going where we said "What the F@$%##?! What the hell is going on here?!"

After the needles were inserted, we leave the room and I had to ask my supervisor about what just transpired. I simply asked him, "Dr. So & So (real name is changed), is this a normal reaction you get from patients?"

"John, people react differently to needles."

"Ok I get that. But moaning like that? Do you have some special touch we should know about?"

"Grow up would you! People react differently to pain and you should know that if you are going to be a good doctor!" he said angrily.

Well then. So the patients leave. Around that time I went home for a week to spend the holiday season and came back really not thinking about the incident too much. When I returned to the clinic, the very same friend and I were sitting around talking and he brings this up:

"Hey, you remember those two girls with the tattoos?"

"You mean the moaners? Why did they want more of Dr. So & So's special treatments?"

"Dude they came back last week and it was really, really weird..."

"Like how weird? Did Dr. So & So give them his phone number for a "special treatment" at the Motel 6?"

"No, they came in, the both of them and they had this magazine. I did the intake and peered at what magazine they were reading. You wouldn't guess what they had."

"What a porn? Like Playgirl or something?"

"No, no but close. They had an S&M magazine! They're into that kind of weird sh#@$t!"

For those of you who do not know what "S&M" is, it's sado-mascochism. To put it simply, people who are into that kind of stuff get a sexual arousal or pleasure from pain.

"Shut up!" I said.

"No seriously! She had a S&M magazine."

"Ok so what happened?!"

"I had mentioned to the girls that they had an interesting magazine on their hands and they responded that it was their hobby..."

"You actually asked them that and that's how they responded? Casually just like that?"

"Yessir, just like that. Then I went to get Dr. S0 & So and told him about this and he just got pissed!"

"Really? Why?"

"Who knows but he goes into the room and asks the ladies straight- up about their reasons. They pretty much said that they got pleasure from the needles."

"You don't say..."

"He told them that the needles might not be the best type of treatment for them and just prescribed them herbs."

We all had a good laugh about that one. As you can guess, we never saw those patients again. As for Dr. So & So, he was cool and my relationship with him got better. The moral of the story is....well I really don't know what the moral is other than that it was a good story to tell. Seasons Greetings everyone!